he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
