we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
