So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
