How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
