5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
