Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
