you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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