i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
