maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
