He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
