So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
