Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
