My sheets look like a crime scene.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize