That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Randomize
