god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
