trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I am one with the molecules
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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