I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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