so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
