who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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