Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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