he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
