Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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