I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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