How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
