took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
