I just cut my nipple shaving
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
