I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
