Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
