People with herpes should wear stickers.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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