So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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