just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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