He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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