a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
