i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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