Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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