he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
