Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
