You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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