Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
