My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Shame - the story of my life.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
