We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
