I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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