i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
God, I missed his penis.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
