OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
