How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
