So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
