why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
