Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
