Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
