i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
