Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
