like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
