Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
