yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
you win again, gameday.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
