So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
