there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
